


EIGHT IS THE BEST DOCTOR a valediction with cake

by Anonymous



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Cake, Deliberate Badfic, Deliberately Bad Fanart, Movie Night, Multi, accurate britishness, not being a whiny emo tosser, the unbearable worstness of Ten, tragedies of regeneration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-18 20:20:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3582612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Eighth Doctor relaxes with some friends for cake and a movie night in the Tardis! They discuss the future and its uncertainties, and one very tragic change in particular that lies in their past and his future. :(</p>
            </blockquote>





	EIGHT IS THE BEST DOCTOR a valediction with cake

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Andian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andian/gifts).



> lets be honest with ourselves for one second ok, 
> 
> eight is the only genuine and perfect Doctor, the others are acceptable at best, and Ten is 100% UNACCEPTABLE. 
> 
> i know the prompt was technically "10 and rose and donna and martha watch a movie 2gether" but lbr, 8 is SO MUCH BETTER IN EVERY WAY FOREVER that it would literally have been a criminal act in 17 galxies to write this prompt with 10 or actualyl to write any fic with 10 except maybe one where hes put on trial for being the worst and found to actually not be even a time lord at all because HE IS A FAKE EMO IMPOSTOR. 
> 
> THAT IS NOT MY DOCTOR NO WAY LOL 
> 
> a literal dalek in a wig wd be a better doctor than 10. search ur hearts, u know it to be true. <3 <3 
> 
> I am not even kiddign about the intergalactic criminality of writing fic w/ ten tho
> 
> check the shadow proclimation 
> 
> it's A LEGAL FACT.

The Eighth Doctor sighed in melancholy contentment as he lifted the last piece of custard cake to his supple lips. “I am so glad I have not yet metamorphosized into that skinny emo douchehose Ten,” he said suavely as not a single whiny teardrop slid from his gentle yet manly brown eyes. 

Martha nodded eagerly as she sliced into a giant cake that had ice cream in the middle “Truly Ten is the worst doctor ever to exist, worse even than that sexually harassing doctor guy who taught me in med school back when I was going to be a regular Doctor!” She stretched her delicate, slender yet well musseled limbs over the back of the couch that she and Rose had brought in from the junkyard to serve as the movie night couch of the Tardis. “I am so glad that you were able to use time travel to meet Rose and myself in the future so that we could experience the true Doctor instead of his paltriest and most annoying imitation!”

“Blimey, mates!” said Rose unposhly. “The bloody film is about to jolly well start! Pass the fish and chips, cuz!” She snuggled up to Eight's obviously superior chest and shoulder area and gently stroked his tie which was a much nicer tie than the bollocksy Oxfam reject bin rubbish Ten used to wear. She said, “The real Doctors clothes are way totally nicer than Ten's clothes, eh, oi what, blokes??” 

“Quite the corker observation, my dear Rose,” said Martha so poshly that a delicately painted cup of tea appeared unbidden at her impeccably glossy lips. “Ten's clothes were terrible and everything about him was also terrible,” she smiled as she pushed one large piece of very delicate coffee cake genteelly into her mouth with, remarkably, no loss of glossiness. “I can hardly believe he was even allowed to exist for ten seconds without imploding from generalized failhood.”

“and yet that terrible fate is still in my future,” said Eight sadly and with only a tastefully subtle soupcon of poshness in his voice, but WITHOUT CRYING OVER EVERYTHING LIKE A BABY omg what a concept! “if only there were some way to remain my truest and best self and not suffer a sea change into something rich and strange, or at least if I cd skip over being Ten and go straight to being that one old guy or whatever.”

“I am only a temporary employee from chisqeuisk,” said Donna income-limited middle-classily, “but even I can see that it would be way better for everyone if 8 was the only Doctor ever to exist.”

They all agreed that this would be best and then they all made out keenly on the davenport which they never woud have done with ten because he is the worst and he is literally not even the real Doctor, he was probably just a sillurean in disguise or something. Also there was a movie “Frozen III: Frozen Like Me” but no one was paying any attention b/c their minds were fixed on the vast and overwhelming worstness of Ten that burned across space and time like a blazing star of failure. 


End file.
